- "Today we stand for Winterly Rock!!!"
- – FunkMasterBlast
The Armed Forces of Winterly Rock are the combined army of Winterly Rock. The Winterly Rock Army is made up of donated fighting men from all of the groups that live there, and originally totaled about 100 soldiers. After a massive recruiting campaign following the Second Battle of Bogdon Fells, the size of the army at least doubled in total strength.
FunkMasterBlast is the current Commander-in-Chief with Ricochet as his second in command.
The Army[]
The army is mainly composed of swordsmen and bowmen, with very little higher tech soldier units. Winterly Rock's army is one of the most diverse in Merth, featuring Humans and Dwarves from around the continent. Many of the initial soldiers were units from other armies which were defeated by the Army of Pork, but later soldiers were drafted and trained by Klaus at the Rock itself.
The Units[]
Grudgebringers
Joint Dwarven and Grudgebringer forces with _Ricochet
The Grudgebringers are the remnants of the Grudebringer Army who were attacked by Edd2012 and his Porkish Army. They found refuge in Winterly Rock and made up the first guard unit of the castle. The Grudgebringers comprise of most of the swordsmen in the army and a sizable portion of the bowmen.
The Dwarves[]
As the population increased, FMB realized that the Grudgebringers were not numerous enough to sustain an entire army in battle. Seeing the growing number of dwarves at Winterly Rock, they asked Dwarf leader, Jimli to donate some fighting men. The Dwarven unit consists of two types of soldier, the Dwarven axe lugger (long range axe-throwers) and the Dwarven axemen (close range warriors). There appears to be many more axemen than axe luggers in the unit. The Dwarves comprise of 20% of the army.
The Woodfolk[]
After attempting to defeat Edd's Army of Pork and failing, the Woodfolk fled from their woods as the Porkmen burnt it down. The remaining men, women and children were led by Robin Woodfolk of the Woodfolk civilization to Winterly Rock where the found refuge. They have since built a barracks and a shooting range, training bowmen to help assist the Army of Winterly Rock. The Woodfolk make up almost all of the bowmen outside of the Rock's personal guard (which are Grudgebringer Crossbows).
The Spannerguard[]
The Spannerguard
Resulting from FMB's support of the Church of the Spanner, High Technician Meccanus donated three men of the spanner to act as FunkMasterBlast's Royal Guard. Named "The Spannerguard" they are well trained and equipped, willing to give their lives to protect The Lord.
Crumblestone Watch[]
After Sir Oliver Crumble joined the rock, the soldiers under him therefore joined the armed forces. Originally consisting of 5 soldiers at best, but due to the Rocks's massive training campaign they grew to total almost as many as the Grudgebringers. However, most Crublestone Spears are much lesser trained that their Grudgebringer counterparts. Recently the Crumblestone Spearmen's armor have been improved by the dwarven smiths.
Hammermen[]
The Hammermen are villagers who live at Blackhammer Keep and the Hammer of the Pass that have been drafted into soldiers. There are very few hammermen and they are only seen as part of Lord Rory Jr. Blackhammer's personal guard and protect his land. Hammermen are well armored and wield war hammers with large steel shields. Most were stationed at the Hammer of the Pass with their lord.
Command[]
High Lord Funk Master of Blast[]
FunkMasterBlast, leader of FMB, Lord of Winterly Rock, is also Commander-in-Chief of the Army of Winterly Rock. He is respected by the men for protecting them and ultimately has the final say in war-side matters.
Ricochet[]
Although not an official officer in the Army, _Ricochet plays a major roll in workings of Winterly Rock. Being second-in-command of FMB, Ricochet has a large say in FunkMasterBlast's decisions, although not always heeded.
Lord Commander Morgan Bernhardt[]
Morgan Bernhardt is commander of the Grudgebringers and captain of the guard at Winterly Rock. He supreme commander of the army and would be appointed as protector of The Rock if FunkMasterBlast were to fall in battle. He has been appointed second in command by FunkMasterBlast in the holy cathedral of the spanner and in time will hold land of his own.
Jimli[]
Being of Dwarven nobility, he is the leader of the dwarf civilization in Winterly Rock and also the commander of the dwarf garrison of the castle. He makes sure that all the fighting dwarves have the equipment they needed and plays a vital role in the sovereignty of Winterly Rock as mayor.
Azguz Blutfaust[]
The official commander of the Dwarven Army. Unlike Jimli who simply oversees the dwarves, Azguz is in direct command of the Dwarven soldiers. He is also an experienced warrior who fights alongside his men.
Sir Robin of the Woodfolk[]
Leader of the Woodfolk Militia, Robin represents the Woodfolk as a whole. He is in charge of the barracks where bowmen are trained. Robin Woodfolk is also in command of Woodfolk operations at Bogdon Fells, where he reports happenings back to FunkMasterBlast.When returned to the rock he was knighted by lord FunkMasterBlast in the cathedral of the holy spanner along with klaus as Sir Robin of the Woodfolk.
Rory Blackhammer[]
As Winterly Rock's blacksmith, Rory Blackhammer has personally forged most of the army's weapons and armor. Moving with the army camp on campaigns, gear was always kept in perfect condition thanks to Rory's efforts. Furthermore, Blackhammer was immensely strong and could easily decapitate a foe with the swing of his sledgehammer. As such he was a destructive force in battle, although now deceased, he will always be remembered.
Lord Rory Jr. Blackhammer[]
The son of Rory Blackhammer senior. Rory Jr. was appointed lord of Blackhammer Keep following the heroic death of this father. Being one of the higher lords (and one of the only) serving under FunkMasterBlast he has a substantial amount of power in the Rock.
Sir Klaus[]
The master of arms at Winterly Rock, Klaus is responsible for recruitment and training in the army. He is also Morgan Bernhardt's closest adviser and second in command of the Grudgebringers. He along with Sir Robin of the Woodfolk to Sir by FunkMasterBlast in the holy cathedral of the spanner for he is shown that he is respected by many.
Sir Oliver Crumble[]
An anointed knight of the town of Crumblestone. He is of some sort of lesser nobility, but enough to become part of the Winterly Rock High Council. Oliver leads the Crumblestone Watch soldiers.
Sir Chickenbeak[]
A chicken which was knighted by FunkMasterBlast personally. Sir Chickenbeak roams the land in front of Winterly Rock's front gate. Chickenbeak was named FunkMasterBlast's Chicken Esquire. He was murdered by Ricochet.
Goals of the Army[]
- Protect Lord FunkMasterBlast
- Guard Winterly Rock
- Neutralize threats to the Church of the Spanner
- Destroy Edd2012 and his Empire of Pork
- Protect The Rock against foreign and domestic threat
- Protect the autonomous region of The House of Blackhammer
- Locate porkcruxes
- Protect allied countries from hostile invasion