The Army of Pork, or the Pig Army, was a massive military force organised and directed by Edd2012 to help him achieve world domination and ultimately destruction. The army is mainly comprised of Porkmen and humans corrupted by the teachings of Porkology. The Porkish Army was the largest army on the planet. Though the original army of Pork was destroyed when Edd lost his powers at the end of Voltz Wars: Season Four, a Second Army of Pork was created by Edd in Minecraft Aporkalypse.
Army Structure and StrategyEdit
As of the height of the Empire of Pork right after the Battle of Winterly Rock, there were around 22,000 soldiers in the Army. 2000 of these are known to be Men of Pork following Prince Porkrod (as he delivers this statistic directly to Edd). From the total number of porkmen to men of pork shown in the series, there is about a 1:10 ratio of men to porkmen. So, not counting Men of Pork from sources other than Porkrod, there were at least 22,000 soldiers.
The Porkish Navy was quite small, only being built in the last weeks of the Empire. As Finbarhawkes was given complete control over the navy, and 30 ships were given to him to command, it is assumed the navy only ever consisted on 30 ships (most landing ships for ground troops).
The Army of Pork had no Air Force to speak of, a considerable weakness that could have been exploited by FMB's bomber and other airships but never was.
The Porkish veriant of tanks generally came in the form of Pork Lords, War Porkers, and Hammers of Pork. All three were enlarged versions of soldiers in the army boasting immense strength and endurance. The Heavy Units were generally used to soak up hits and plow through enemy lines. The Pig Army also used multiple siege towers constructed of wood against enemy fortresses and often used portable TNT cannons to breach well defended keeps.
The main body of the Army consisted of porkmen. Most footmen were Pork Swords, simple porkmen with minor armor, a sword and a shield. Other classifications of porkmen were also used, such as Pork Spears (wielding spears), Porky Archers (using bows)and Armored Pork Swords (with heavy armor). Men of Pork were generally considered of a lower rank than their porkmen counterparts, excluding high ranking members of the Men of Pork (such as Prince Porkrod and Sir Porksword). Porkish commanders were mostly porkmen who were knighted by Edd (or other nobility) into higher status. As such most of the Porkish Commanders have the "Sir" title. Commanders who were not knighted usually came in the commanding order of Sargent Major, Captain, Commander, General, and Lord General and Emperor. There was only one Lord General throughout the Porkish reigh, Lord General Peperroni, who had command almost equal to Edd's.
The general strategy used throughout the Army of Pork was simply overwhelming enemies with sheer numbers. Due to the number of porkmen, individual soldiers were mostly poorly trained and equipped with a weak arsenal. To make up for this the porkmen always made sure to have numbers on their side and swarm stronger foes. As part of this strategy, the porkmen would almost always take an offensively stance in battle. A Porkish aussault usually would take place over 3 phases, sending Men of Pork an weak Porkmen to probe the enemy. If the force was too strong for the scouting parties the full force of the main porkman army would smash into the enemy lines. If they were still unable to overwhelm the enemy, heavy troops such as war porkers would be deployed to smash their way through, giving the porkmen enough of a breach to engulf the foe. The weakness to this strategy was that in small numbers porkmen were easily destroyed and in narrow spaces the porkmen would be unable to use their numbers effectively to their advantage.
When besieging a walled city of castle, the Army of Pork would generally take one of two approaches. The first method would be to use TNT cannons to blast through defenses. Once a sizable breach was made via the TNT, porkmen would charge through the gap in accordance to the general 3 waves above. If a base's defense was too well fortified for TNT to blast its way through (or fortified enough that TNT cannons could not be set up in range) siege towers would be constructed to send troops over the walls. The siege towers were mostly built of wood with ladders inside for porkmen to climb up. The top of the tower usually contained a small balcony for archers to stand on and provide auxiliary fire for the troops. The the siege towers were ineffective, the Army of Pork could also send in spies to the city to open the gates from the inside.
Because their navy was quite small and the majority of the army's strength came from ground units, the Porkish navy was used almost entirely just to land troops across seas. Landing ships were built of wood and served the sole purpose to transport as many soldiers as possible as quickly as possible to their destination. As such the navy had little defensive worth, and no offensive worth over the soldiers it carried.
Soldiers of the Pig ArmyEdit
Porkmen, a distant relative of the Zombie Pigman, make up the backbone of Edd's army. They are intelligent anthropomorphic pigs which wield weapons and armor made from Porktonium, a super-strong metal made out of Pork. Porkmen are adapted for many roles in the Pig Army, The most common Porkmen variants are the Armored Pork Sword, Porky Crossbowman, and Pork Guards. Most of the officers in the army are also Porkmen and are in Edd's eyes superior to humans.
Pork Lords/War PorkersEdit
Pork Lords are massive Porkmen that are heavy infantry that are almost like the tanks of Edd's army. They have massive amounts of health and do crushing damage but are much less common then regular Porkmen. They serve as juggernauts in Edd's army, smashing through enemy soldiers and brushing off attacks like they were pin pricks. Pork Lords helped destroy Krop's defenses at the Siege of Krop and during the attack on Lord Osmond's Keep. They were seen defending Edd's Nether Temple during the third attack by FMB, but have not been seen in Edd's forces since. A sub-breed of Pork Lords, known as War Porkers, were used in the Second Battle of Bogdon Fells. These giant Porkmen are similar in size and strength to normal Pork Lords, but have two bunny ears and white rabbit tail along with their normal porky self. War Porkers wield massive lance-axes which create large explosions when struck with.
Men of PorkEdit
The Men of Pork (Known derogatively as "Pork Kneelers" by FMB) are human soldiers in Edd's army. The Men of Pork are led by Prince Porkrod. They have been seen during the battle of Krop and the siege and subsequent battle of Stone Garden. These humans either come from Porktonia, a human state that is allied with Edd or have either willingly converted to Porkology and have decided to fight for the Power of Pork, been conscripted into the Edd's army after being conquered or have been captured in battle and brainwashed to fight for pork. They are lightly armoured and lightly armed. Edd uses them as light infantry at the front of a porky advance, carelessly smashing them against enemy lines even if it means certain death. This shows Edd's preference for pigs over humans.
Porky Scouts are elite Porkmen who are trained in the arts of espionage. They are specially selected out of the best Porkmen and are given orders directly from Edd2012 himself. They are expert survivors that can last for days in the wilderness and are almost undetectable, they specialise in infiltration, assassination and sabotage. Edd puts them to good use, sending them behind enemy lines where they can cause chaos and dismay before the main army even arrives The scout sent to Elysium successfully infiltrated the city and snuck up on FnD but was killed. A second scout infiltrated Winterly Rock and broke into the Church of the Spanner in an attempt to assassinate the high technician, but was also killed when FMB happened to be in the church. Another scout was killed at Marston Klemp by FunkMasterBlast returning from an unknown location. No other Porky Scouts have been located but there is a good possibility that they are still hiding around the continent
Hammers of Pork Edit
During the Battle of the Rock , Rob's Forces encountered several Hammers of Pork who are believed to be former citizens of Fanton Barless who were either corrupted by Pork or are followers of Porkology.They are specialize in killing large amounts of foes with their hammers and are quite annoying with a couple of Porkmen.
Dwarves of Pork Edit
Along with the Hammers of Pork, Edd's forces also include Dwarves who were captured, enslaved and brainwashed into betraying their people. These traitors wear Porktonium armor and are quite tough and can be dangerous in large groups.
Moustache Man Edit
It was revealed that Lord Edd has had a spy inside Winterly Rock for an unknown amount of time he has been feeding him information about battle preparations and tactics of FMB. It is possible that this man sabotaged the explosives that almost cost The Winterly Rock Armed Forces the battle and killed 16 of it's soldiers. The top suspects are either _Ricochet, Morgan Benhardt, the guild master's brother Andern, or a Grugbringer soldier
Zombie Pigmen Edit
Zombie Pigmen also serve in Edd's army and formerly defended Edd's Nether Temple before it's destruction, they also fought alongside Edd during the battle of Tekkit and were the first soldiers in Edd's army. When killed, pigmen naturally are resurrected in the nether as Zombie Pigmen by the Power of Pork. They are mindless and completely obedient, taking any orders given to them, however they are so dim-witted that they cannot recognise an enemy and will only atack when they, or one of their kind is attacked. They use golden swords as weapons and use the simple, but effective tactic, of surrounding an enemy and mercilessly killing them. The fact that they are most powerful in the nether and that they are excellent in large numbers for defensive purposes is why Edd utilised them, but since the destruction of his nether temple and the building of the army of pork, he has little use or these abominations.
The Imperial Guard is charge of protecting the Pork King, Edd, and are given the best weapons and armor to do so. They wield golden shields and spears to seperate them from regular porkish soldiers. Being Edds personal guard they are never far from the king and will give their lives to protect him.
High Command Edit
Lord King EddEdit
Lord Edd is the founder and supreme leader of the Army of Pork. He is immensely powerful, to the point he split his soul into seven Porkcruxes to make himself invincible. Edd leads the major force of the Pig Army and uses his abilities to fight in the battles himself. He is respected by the soldiers of the army as their great leader.
Grand Admiral FinbarhawkesEdit
The Prince of Rapture, Finbarhawkes is the Grand Admiral of the newly formed navy of the Army of Pork. Finbarhawks had built a navy before joining Edd, but Elysium's fleet royale destroyed it and killed all of his crewman. Edd felt that Finbar, having experience in naval warfare and being based in a naval city, would make a good admiral for the porkish fleet. Edd made Finbar swear allegiance to him in exchange for and army of 500 porkmen and 30 ships. Since Edd obviously saw great potential for Finbar, he immediately dubbed him Grand Admiral of the entire navy with the 30 ships and 500 porkmen completely under his command. Finbar, his Allied Army of Rapture, and new porkish fleet have been sent by Edd to attack Elysium and capture King David the Porkborn.
Sir Baconbits was one of the first Porkman officers to appear in the Army of Pork, along with Sir Sausagemeat. He led the charge on Osmond's Keep with Sir Sausagemeat and Edd himself. Sir Baconbits was also present at the ambush on the Grudgebringers and was the first to start setting up the siege camp at Stone Garden. Sir Baconbits was almost always at the front line with Sir Sausagemeat. He went insane after his friend Sir Sausagemeat was killed.
Sir Sausagemeat joined the Pig Army around the same time as Sir Baconbits and has fought alongside him and Edd in numerous occasions. Sir Sausagemeat led his own battalion similar to Sir Baconbits's and led them to victory against the remaining Grudgebringer forces and the armies of Lord Osmond and Stone Garden.
Sir Ham (Commander Ham)(Formerly Commander Ham) is Edd's page-of-sorts who usually delivers important information to Edd and relays his orders rather than give orders himself. Nevertheless, Sir Ham is present in most meetings of the High Command. Unlike Sir Baconbits though, Sir Ham is rarely in the field of battle and usually observes from afar with Lord General Pepperoni. However, Sir Ham was the leader of the Porky Scout team sent to track Morgan Bernhardt and the remainder of the Grudgebringer army after Edd's massacre of their forces, he found FMB and fought alongside Edd against FMB and Sir Friendzone at the Skirmish of Sandy Crack. Later, he was ordered to go with Lord General Pepperoni to Bogdon Fells for a second attempt at invading Winterly Rock. After the victories at Bogdon fells and the Stony Shore, Edd knighted him.
General Black PuddingEdit
General Black Pudding was the Porkman in charge of Edd's Nether Fort. He had a great deal of command and control over a large Porkman division which defended the fort. During his lifetime Black Pudding was known to wear Obsidian Armor and wield an Obsidian Sword. As such he was quite a adept fighter if needs be. During FunkMasterBlast's attack on the fort, Black Pudding almost killed Funk in a battle, but was instead killed by Rory Blackhammer in a devastating blow to the head. His body was later found by Edd after the fort had been destroyed.
Lord General PepperoniEdit
Lord General Pepperoni was once commander of a quite substantial portion of the Pig Army at the Holy Mountain. However, when the Mother of Dragons's attacked the mountain, The Lord General was forced to flee with the remainder of his forces. Pepperoni then met up with the remains of Edd's forces from his Nether Fort and moved towards Sir Baconbits's siege encampment at Stone Garden. He was ordered to Bogdon Fells along with Commander Ham to make a second attempt to invade Winterly Rock, so far Pepperoni was successful in retaking the Fells.
Sir Honeycured in charge of a detachment of the 2nd Army with orders personally from Edd to transport Human prisoners from a recent campaign in Minymanar in the Overworld. His men set up camp when D_2the_avid ran across his men and discovered the transportation of the prisoners through Bogdon Fells where a skirmish between Winterly Rock and the Pork Army took place earlier. As they were transporting the prisoners, they were ambushed by Minymanarian Soldiers and during the fighting Honeycured was killed by the ambush force leader, Agis.
Named the Prince of Porkness by Edd, Prince Porkrod is the ruler of Porktonia. Porkrod, unlike most pork royalty, is a human and leader of the Men of Pork. Porkrod is not technically a member of the Army of Pork as Porktonia is an ally of Edd, not part of his empire. It is likely that Edd corrupted Porkrod with the power of pork and then instated him as prince of Porktonia to bring it into allegiance with him. Porkrod apparently has 2000 Men of Pork under his command.
Appeared at the assemblie of Pork forces at Osmond Plains. He is Sir Baconbit's replacement.
Was ordered to stay at Stone Garden with his army while the rest march on Osmond Plains. He is Sir Sausagemeat's replacement.
Sir Lardons accompanied Edd2012 on his conquest to take the cities between Stone Garden and North Bay. He also participated in the Battle of Lorham. Although for a long time Sir Lardons never said a word, Edd has been quoted saying "You do make me laugh Sir Lardons" implying that Lardons is humorous. Lardons is one of the fattest porkmen in the army which renders him very slow, much to Edd's disapproval.
Sgt. Major SnoutEdit
Objectives of the Army of PorkEdit
- Take over the world
- Kill the Porkborn
- Destroy the world
- Destroy FMB and FnD
- Spread Porkology
- Destroy factions which do not submit to Porkology
- Destroy rival religions to Porkology
- Create the Perfect Pork and the Perfect Glaze
- Sacked Krop
- Started the final stages of The Early Dawn
- Slew Lord Osmond
- Captured the Holey Mountain (temporarily)
- Destroyed most of the Grudgebringer Army
- Infiltrated Winterly Rock
- Burned the Woodfolks' Homes
- Take control of Stone Garden
- Created the Perfect Glaze
- Captured Lorham
- Retook Bogdon Fells
- Conquered Northbay and forced the surrender of the Lords of the Sunny Shore
- Captured Winterly Rock and Gained an ally Finbarhawkes (Presumed Dead)
- Lost all Porkcruxes
- Edd's Time Machine broken
- Lost hold over the Twilight Forest
- General Black Pudding died
- Edd's Nether Temple destroyed
- The Holey Mountain taken by the Great Mother
- FMB refuse to surrender
- Failed the first invasion attempt of Winterly Rock at Marston Klemp
- Bogdon Fells temporarily captured by FMB
- Edd2012 freed from Pork
- All Cities lost
- All Troops lost corruption and back to pigs
- Destruction of Stone Garden
- Death of Finbarhawkes
Although the Army of Pork was defeated when the Porkcruxes were destroyed, the army left a lasting impact upon the Voltz World. The Army of Pork was (and most likely will be) undoubtedly the largest army ever to be assembeled throughout the Voltz Wars. An estimated 22,000 soldiers severed in the army at its height (2000 men of pork and 10 porkmen per each man of pork) and the Empire of Pork spanned what is about a third of Merth. No other faction in the Voltz Wars has come close to the power of the Pig Army and the military strength of Edd's forces was neigh indefeateable aside from the Porkcruxes. If the Porkcruxes had not been the source of the empire's power, the Army of Pork may have been able to conquer the entirety of the Voltz World.
In Minecraft Aporkalypse, Edd successfully regained his powers and began building a new Army of Pork. The first soldiers of this army were seen being created through the Porkish Birthing Ritual. The army is still small and only comprises of a few Porkmen.